Diary …2

I have a little brother, Danny, he was young and understanding, he never showed his talents or his understanding to me or to anyone, i knew he’s capable of being successful, he just has no confidence. After our parents died in an accident, i was responsible for his safety and quality living. I quited school, i got a job at Mr. Ho’s restaurant, i work shifts sometimes to cover the bills, my salary was about RM300 to RM450. Danny was relying on me, i cant let him down. I was 14 then and he was 9.

I learned one day that i miss something for my little bro, he  came to me with his report card, i had to sign it, seeing his red colored marks put disappointment in me, i didn’t gave him tuition. So i looked for a tuition centre for him, he was going to reject, but i mange to cut him off and ask him to listen to me, he nodded. I knew that Danny knows that i am lacking of money, so i had to show him I’m not, i knew he was worried, so i took night shifts while he was asleep. The next day i showed him the money i made and said to him i won a lottery. He actually believed, so i took him for tuition registration.

I  had very limited money after he took the tuition classes, so i tried to save by forcing myself not to eat, i gave all the food i have to Danny, my concern was only for him not me. He was young, i cant imagine him suffering like me. Danny was understanding, he never wanted to trouble me, and for i know this, this is his thank you to me already.

One night, he was using a pencil to do his homework,this was unusual as he should be using pen at his age, he thought i didn’t notice and i pretended that way. I knew he lost his pen, i was worried , he is going to take hi test by tomorrow, and i as his older brother must do something. By next morning, i woke early and wen to the stationary shop and bought a pen, and tied it with a blue ribbon , i place it on the table together with some money for my Danny.

Though my life was tough, but seeing my little brother smile makes me happy, i never expected my life to be perfect, rich or successful. I just expect myself to take care of my younger brother better and never let him down. After his exam began, i put on extra time to help him revise his studies, and that reminds me how much i miss schooling , i had no friends since i stopped schooling but it doesn’t really matter to me, Danny was happy, thats the important thing to me always.

Danny was also very attentive, he will know something which i hide from him if i showed the slightest unusuals. But one thing he didn’t know, the small rotten house he thought i own was not mine at all, i lied and said that it was dad’s heritage to us. I rented it from a gangster as i have no choice due to lack of money. He raise the rental payment every year just for profit to himself. I was scared that one day if i couldn’t cover the payment, they would hurt Danny. I was going to move and find a new place by finding an excuse saying that i won another lottery.

Luckily, after a few years past, i found a letter of invitation that gave me relief. Danny was chosen for a exchange student programme to America, if he accepts this programme and do well there, he will be accepted at the university there. I wanted him to go but i knew he was concern about leaving me. When he was young, he kept asking me about my dreams, i would change the topic and say something else. But after i saw the invitation, i told him my dreams. That it was for him to go to university and be successful, i told him if he wants to be filial to me , go for the programme. I will miss him but i knew that the rental payment was already in dept, i want him to go as fast as possible for his safety. I accompany him to the airport five days later, ” Go, study well, don’t disappoint ko, i will be alright here, be good ok?”, he nodded, ” Thats my bro, go now, the plane is boarding”, i wave at my bro and he wave back, he showed in his expression that he’ll be back. I was concern that he might find out by then that i was in trouble.

2 weeks after he left, gangsters looked for me, they demanded their money, but i told them i don have anymore as they keep raising the payment by double every year. They said that i was being disrespectful, they beat me, mostly aimed at my legs, my forehead was bleeding too. My companion which also known as my new neighbour, Mrs. Wong, called the police. By then, the gangsters had forced me to drink a cup of clourless poison wine which they expect to kill me to get my insurance money. After i drank it , then slowly i fainted to the ground and my sight was blurry, but what i was afraid of was not dying, i was afraid that my brother will come back to look for me and get involve in such unpleasant matter.

I woke up in a hospital, i was thirsty and i tried to ask the nurse for water. Then i found out i couldn’t speak, i tried to stand but my legs won’t respond, by then i knew i was paralyzed by the legs. But what about my voice?, the doctor said they save me in time but just couldn’t stopped the poison from destroying my inner thyroid. So i couldn’t speak. I applied to the doctors for them to free me for a day to take care of my house back there, the government had agreed to provide me a living environment in the hospital. So i move all of my things and left nothing there back at home. I inform Mrs. Wong through handwriting to tell her not to inform Danny what happened to me. I didn’t tell her where i was living, the hospital was far from home and i hoped that Danny won’t find me there.

Seven years had past, i live in the hospital alone, i had a few friends there, some old, some sick and some like me, paralyzed . But as much as the friends i have, i still feel lonely. I miss Danny, i miss his call to me , ” ko….”. But then i have to be strong for his good, to not let him find me and trouble him.

One day, i was looking out to the view in the morning through my window. Wondering what is my brother doing now and what does he look like. Then..the door opened, i assume it was a nurse or a doctor. But it was….it was..Danny?…I looked at his teary eyes, i grabbed my pen and paper and wrote to him, ” You look great, ko is proud.”  He smiled to me, and then said something i never heard him said, ” Ko, thank you for everything.” And once again i wrote to him, ” Sha gua (foolish), i am your older brother.” He came toward and hugged me real tight, by then i knew he missed me very much.

For the remaining years, Danny took care of me, i didn’t get married but he did . I still took care of him despite I’m in terrible conditions. His wife was good to me too..

Through 20 years, they spend a lot of time together as brothers, they were happy all the time and always be there for each other, Danny couldn’t forget what John had done for him…after 20 years, John died.

A year after he died , Danny came to his tombstone, placing down a flower, he smiled to at the picture of John. He stayed quite, and then left. The bouquet of flowers had a picture and a note in it. The picture was John and Danny pausing in funny ways, and for the note , it says.

” Ko, i never had a chance to thank you when i was young. When mom and dad died, you were my only family. Though we were poor, but you always buy things for me. I was quiet but you understood me and never made me feel lonely. You always stand by me so i never fear anything. You always know what to do and say. I’m everything i am today because you loved me. Ko..i love you too”

Written by me, Stanley Teng. ( P.s, contains are trademarked and copyright)

Leave a comment, bad or good i will accept.Thanks for reading. Your support will encourage me to write more.

<object width=”300″ height=”80″><param name=”movie” value=”http://media.imeem.com/m/4l31-t7ZXd”></param><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent”></param><embed src=”http://media.imeem.com/m/4l31-t7ZXd” type=”application/x-shockwave-flash” width=”300″ height=”80″ wmode=”transparent”></embed></object>